Midwifery past / midwifery future

I enrolled in AAMI Advanced Midwifery Studies in late Sept 2010. While I’m at it, I want to say that I am more than pleased with this course. I am just thrilled. It inspires me more and more with how much I have to learn and how much I am learning. I also appreciate their FaceBook pages where students and midwives have discussions about various questions that come up. Their conference phone calls are also unbelievable–Gail Hart, Gloria Lemay, Joy Jones, Kristi Zittle, etc. So many fabulous ways to learn!

Midwifery Past: 2011 

Before stating my midwifery study goals for 2012, I’d like to review what I’ve accomplished in 2011.

• Submitted Phase 3 (Phases 1-3 are introductory phases before starting the actual curriculum; they require a lot of work)

Once Phase 3 work was accepted, I started with Phase 4, the main curriculum. It has 6 sections. I made a submission each quarter of the year.

• First submission: all of section 1 (mostly terminology definitions, workbook, roots/prefixes/suffixes, etc.) I also submitted 2 Section Two assignments (watching videos, listening to past conference lectures).

 

This submission made the Honor Roll! I’m amazed.

• Second submission: Section 2–4 assignments: an article abstract, a textbook overview, assignments from Goer’s Obstetric Myths vs. Research Realites, 2 book reviews, and a book critique.

• Then, this final quarter, I submitted Section 3A–two assignments from a list of choices; my childbirth educator/doula training and the Placenta Intensive Study Module. (I was hoping to submit 3B also, but the Placenta ISM was a doozy!!!!)

Other things I accomplished in 2011: set up my Section 5 files (50+ midwifery topics), started collecting AEU points (haven’t turned them in yet), listened to several conference calls, attended 4 births as a doula, and attended informal breastfeeding classes with a brilliant IBCLC counselor.

Midwifery future: 2012

Today I sat down and mapped submission goals for each quarter of this year. Not sure I will meet them all and they may be revamped, but here’s the plan for now:

• Quarter 1: submit assignment 4A (read Holistic Midwifery 1, questions/answers, notes) and 20 assignments from Section 6. (So far, I’m almost on page 500 of Hol Mid 1 and almost at 100 of 175 questions. And I’m hoping to go through Section 6 and see what I can work on. And several Section 6 assignments are done.)
• Quarter 2: submit 3B.2 (Midwifery Skills book and assignments) and 20 assignments from Section 6.
• Quarter 3: submit 4B and second annual report
• Quarter 4: submit 5 Section 5 files.

I’m also evaluating how I sense myself evolving as a student, and I feel like I’m still in the absorbtion stage rather than in the output/teaching stage. I’m also still learning what resources I have for learning. Once I hit Sections 5 and 6, then I want to move into more of the educating-others mode. Right now, I’m amazed at how much I have to learn!

So that’s my midwifery studies past and future!

Thanksgiving Day

Last year I started the tradition of making a Thanksgiving dinner and inviting couples I’ve been a doula for at their births. That was my first year to make a turkey! We decorate for Christmas, too, and it makes for a lovely evening.

This year, I did it on Saturday because Thurs is a regular workday here. Besides turkey, which Vitaliy helps with a lot, I made real cranberry sauce! I never knew anything could be so delicious!!! And I was pleased with the gravy, too. I also did green beans with ham bits, which was new for me, too.

It was a culinary success :) My Ukrainian friends brought salads that were delicious, and the one other American involved brought deviled eggs and pumpkin pie. I also did pumpkin and apple pies. Vitaliy said it was the perfect combination of foods. I agree! We’re still feasting on the leftovers, too.

This year's crew

the hemorrhagic woman, my hope

This past weekend, our chuch hosted a ladies’ conference. Our pastor’s wife does these yearly. We went through Denise Glenn’s “Freedom for Mothers.” She asked me to speak about the principle of the cross and dying to our flesh–the previous chapter dealt with several major sins that mothers (women) can struggle with like being controlling, passive, infantile, egotistical, etc.

As I prayed about what to say, I was reading through the gospels, particularly Mark, and I read the story of the hemorrhagic woman in chapter 5. Her story grabbed my heart, and God impressed on me that this is what I needed to talk about.

Mark 5:25-34  And a woman who had had a hemorrhage for twelve years,  and had endured much at the hands of many physicians, and had spent all that she had and was not helped at all, but rather had grown worse,  after hearing about Jesus, came up in the crowd behind Him, and touched His cloak.  For she thought, “If I just touch His garments, I shall get well.”  And immediately the flow of her blood was dried up; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her affliction.  And immediately Jesus, perceiving in Himself that the power proceeding from Him had gone forth, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My garments?”  And His disciples said to Him, “You see the multitude pressing in on You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’”  And He looked around to see the woman who had done this.  But the woman fearing and trembling, aware of what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him, and told Him the whole truth.  And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”

As I pondered, I remembered there were passages in the Law with instructions for these cases. So after reading this story, I asked the ladies if we could imagine what her life was like for a minute:

Leviticus 15:25-27  Now if a woman has a discharge of her blood many days, not at the period of her menstrual impurity, or if she has a discharge beyond that period, all the days of her impure discharge she shall continue as though in her menstrual impurity; she is unclean.  ’Any bed on which she lies all the days of her discharge shall be to her like her bed at menstruation; and every thing on which she sits shall be unclean, like her uncleanness at that time.  ’Likewise, whoever touches them shall be unclean and shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening.

And

Leviticus 20:18  ‘If there is a man who lies with a menstruous woman and uncovers her nakedness, he has laid bare her flow, and she has exposed the flow of her blood; thus both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

We thought for a minute–if this woman were here at our conference under these laws, where would she sit? She would have to have her own place, marked “unclean” so others wouldn’t sit there. Who would want even to hug or touch her? How did she visit her friends? Did she carry her own “unclean” stool with her? Had she been married then her husband divorced her because they couldn’t sleep together? Had she never married? What an affliction to have !

Then I went on to talk about how this woman is like us and is our example in several ways:

1. Her problem came from within her, and our sin problems come from within us. We are tempted to blame others or our past for our struggles with sin, but that is a hopeless line of thinking. If I can be truthful, that my sin struggles flow from inside me, from my heart, then there is hope because God can transform me.

2. 12 years is a long time. It’s easy for us to think that we’ve had sin habits for so long that it is hopeless to change. But it is simply untrue. There is hope from God that we can be transformed. Sometimes I am tempted to think that my sins are stronger than God, but that is a lie. God has all power to make me perfect in this life, yet He has chosen not to deal with us in that way. There are things we have to learn by living in faith, even in our daily struggles with our sins.

Philippians 1:6   For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

3. This woman went to many doctors, spent all she had, and was left in worse condition. When we deal with our sin problems, there is only one true answer, the cross and death upon it. By faith, my old man died on the cross in Christ, and I have to come back to this truth continually. My flesh is here with me still, but I cannot help myself escape from my sins. Other “cures” are no cures at all.

Isaiah 53:5  But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.

4. She wanted healing but no attention. . . . Can you imagine her, with her heart pounding, weaving through the crowd, trying to get close enough just to reach out and touch Jesus’ cloak fringe? In all other miracles that I can think of, the people came up front and asked specifically for what they needed. No one tried to get healing secretly. . . . When I consider myself, I must be honest that I sometimes wonder that God would be interested in me, for surely He has all the injustice in the world to consider, the billions of people He cares for, etc. Who am I with my little sin problems? . . . But Jesus constantly showed us, and shows us in this story, that the individual is very important to Him. Another proof we have of this is that He gives His Spirit to each believer. He could have only given It to some of us, or only given It on certain occasions. But no, this very personal God gave His Spirit equally to each one who believes in Him. He swallows us up in Himself–the Spirit in us, we in Christ, Christ in God. We are surrounded by His being.

5. She had faith that Jesus could heal her. Did she immediately have faith when she first heard of His miracles? Was she skeptical at first? We don’t know. But we do know that she had right faith and that faith is a gift from God. So, let’s be honest with God. Maybe I don’t have faith that He can change me from a sin habit, and the first step is just to tell Him that and ask Him to give me right faith in Him concerning my sins and His ability to transform. He will do it in His time. God once very clearly showed me that He will not share the glory of my sanctification with me. He sanctifies; He will get 100% of the glory that is due for my sanctification here on earth.

The more I live, the more I learn to sit at His feet and look into the beauty of Jesus, His sorrow and suffering that He bore with such love to us, His resurrection display of God’s absolute power, and the like. The more I see and am allowed to understand, the more I long for His love to be in every cell of my being. . . . I am still early on the road of transformation, but I am there, and God will lead me Home.

Thank You, God, for sharing this woman’s life with us and encouraging us with Your truths seen here.

my Six year old

It was getting a little confusing lately with my lovely, newly 6yo. There were times of defiance that really left me wondering if my parenting was benficial or not, did I need to become stricter and more authoritative? . . . .

So I finally pull off my shelf the thin book about 6 year olds that my friend Tulipgirl sent me years ago. Even the title comforted me: Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant. And the first few pages delve right in to the turmoil a 6yo experiences as s/he is trying to love mommy but separate from her at yet another level of development.

Six is beginning to separate from his mother. In fact, it is this quite natural move toward more independence and less of the closeness experienced at Five that makes him so aggressive toward her at times. . . . It is fair to say that Six is typically embroiled with his mother. He depends on her so much, and yet part of him wishes he didn’t. (p.4)

So now I have more understanding for the “nature of the child” for my child at Six. And I can parent in more wisdom and understanding.

I want to add, too, how thankful I am for God’s forgiveness and  my kids’ forgiveness and resilience. I am such an imperfect mother, but God does take up for us and help us.

the nature of a child vs. the sin nature

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.  For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known. (1Cor13:9-12)

One element of several popular Christian parenting books that I have found distressing is the confusion (or non-deliniation) between the sin nature vs. the ages-n-stages children go through.  For example, around 2, a child goes through a negative (“no”) phase because s/he is learning a new level of separation from the mother. That little tidbit helped me not to make every No as a battle of the wills, to adapt my mothering to this stage of development.  

The Bible doesn’t criticize childhood. Children go through fairly standard stages of development, mentally and physically. Of Jesus as a child it’s written, “And the Child continued to grow and become strong, increasing in wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.” (Luk 2:40) Nothing is criticized about being a child. It’s not painted as a time of foolishness or inferiority.

One major mistake several parenting books make is misapplying Proverbs. When Proverbs talking about “foolishness” and the “fool,” it doesn not have in view a small child. It is more talking about a teenaged child. Everywhere in the Bible, children are cared for as children, not treated as fools that need to be beaten.

Here are some examples:

Then Jacob arose and put his children and his wives upon camels . . . (Gen 31:17)

Then Esau said, “Let us take our journey and go, and I will go before you.” But he said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds which are nursing are a care to me. And if they are driven hard one day, all the flocks will die. (Gen 33:12-13)

Then the daughter of Pharaoh came down to bathe at the Nile, … and she saw the basket among the reeds and sent her maid, and she brought it to her. When she opened it, she saw the child, and behold, the boy was crying. And she had pity on him and said, “This is one of the Hebrews’ children.” (Exo 2:5-6)

Jesus gives us several examples of how He viewed children, and interestingly, there is no condemnation of foolishness or other childlike qualities. Becoming a mature adult is a goal (Gal 4:3), as Paul showed us (I Cor 13), but Jesus points out that there are elements of life and faith that come easily to children that we need to imitate.

Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it is better for him that a heavy millstone be hung around his neck, and that he be drowned in the depth of the sea. (Mat 18:3-6)

Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Mat 19:13-14)

Look at what these children did!

But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that He had done, and the children who were crying out in the temple and saying, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they became indignant, and said to Him, “Do You hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read, ‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babes Thou hast prepared praise for Thyself’?” (Mat 21:15-16)

God shows Himself to be, over and over again, gentle toward and protective of children. (“In His arm He will gather the lambs, And carry them in His bosom.” (Isa 40:11) And He Himself designed their stages of development! Some of the most valuable tidbits I’ve learned to help me with parenting are basic facts about usual developmental stages and what I can expect.

So, when reading parenting books, I ask myself a few filtering quetsions:

• Does this book help me understand and respect my children as children?
• Does this author expect children to behave like adults? (Sure, adulthood is the goal, but there is a lot to go through before that stage.) Does it expect some type of robotic, adult-like obedience?
• Does this author teach me as a parent to be gentle and patient with my children? Or am I being taught to be authoritative and slow to mercy?
• Is spanking or other negative styles of discipline the main tools I’m being given, or am I being taught positive skills to nuture relationships while teaching obedience.

examining Ezzo

My friend Tulipgirl is hosting her annual truth-about-Ezzo week starting on Monday, and since Im leaving town tomorrow, I wanted to put some thoughts into the conversation that I’ve been pondering lately.

Also, I want to say, that my heart’s desire is to speak lovingly. I think Ezzo teaches several false, misguided, dangerous things, but I never want to be disrespectful of an individual mother. Please don’t take my criticisms of Ezzo as a criticism of anyone personally. We all love our children and want to raise them to love the Lord. (And I have plenty of areas of motherhood I just plain stink at, and I desperately need God’s Spirit to live in me each day, so I offer these thoughts in humility, wanting to speak the truth in love.)

The context of these thoughts grew out of my visiting what I later learned to be an Ezzo-promoting church. The pastor speaking about childrearing that day made one comment (scenario) about breastfeeding, and I got to thinking afterwards, why do parents have to be trained to be suspicious of their baby’s desire to breastfeed? Hence, the approach of my following comments. . . .

Is the baby’s desire to breastfeed something we should be suspicious of?

According to Ezzo, the answer is yes. We see this through Ezzo’s use of controlled access, strict timing, and breast-only-as-food (not emotional comfort).

And while Ezzo does weave some elements of God’s nature into his method (like “order”), let’s put aside his conclusions for a moment and examine anew: What is Scripture’s view of and approach to breastfeeding? Is Ezzo’s way really an expression of God’s heart for babies and children at the breast? Does God encourage mothers to breastfeed the way Ezzo is promoting?

(The format of this post: I will make some comments about verses, then quote the verses.)

Look in these verses at God’s expression of breastfeeding as a blessing, of being happy and satisfied, emotionally comforted and delighted; as the breast and mother’s arms being the natural place a child belongs:

“Be joyful with Jerusalem and rejoice for her, all you who love her; Be exceedingly glad with her, all you who mourn over her, That you may nurse and be satisfied with her comforting breasts, That you may suck and be delighted with her bountiful bosom.” For thus says the LORD, “Behold, I extend peace to her like a river, And the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; And you shall be nursed, you shall be carried on the hip and fondled on the knees. “As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; And you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.” (Isa 66:10-13)

In the following verses, are there any expressions of control or suspicion of breastfeeding children? Or rather, are they shown praising God and their breastfeeding is a normal stage of life? Nothing is said about control, motive, or timing. In fact, “nursing” is a description of their very childhood!

But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that He had done, and the children who were crying out in the temple and saying, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they became indignant, and said to Him, “Do You hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read, ‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babes Thou hast prepared praise for Thyself’?” (Mat 21:15-16)

Here, God is displaying His tender care and gentleness to His children. His words evoke warmth and feelings of love and safety. He is showing us how He, God Himself, treats the “nursing” lambs—and that is you and me. We are God’s nurslings.

Like a shepherd He will tend His flock, In His arm He will gather the lambs, And carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes. (Isa 40:11)

Here again, any suspicion? Control? Rather, again, “nursing” is the child’s one descriptive written in this verse. And again, it describes us as God’s children. We are objects of God’s compassion; He will never forget us. And can a mother forget and not have compassion on her nursing child? The rhetorical answer is no. There’s no way a mom could or should forget her nursing child; there’s no way she should not have compassion on her baby. Although God’s answer assumes it’s possible. . . What is Ezzo wanting to teach us?

Can a woman forget her nursing child, And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. (Isa 49:15)

Paul uses a “nursing mother” to describe his gentleness to these believers. Let’s be sure that those who are teaching us how to mother teach us this gentleness:

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. (1Th 2:7)

In these verses in Job, even orphans are being breastfed! And those who grab them away from the breast are the wicked ones here, removing food from the needy.

“Others snatch the orphan from the breast, And against the poor they take a pledge. “They cause the poor to go about naked without clothing, And they take away the sheaves from the hungry. (Job 24:9-10)

Here is another sad picture. Animals instinctively offer their breasts, but people can become cruel and refuse to feed their hungry babies.

Even jackals offer the breast, they nurse their young; but the daughter of my people has become cruel like ostriches in the wilderness. The tongue of the infant cleaves to the roof of its mouth because of thirst; The little ones ask for bread, but no one breaks it for them. (Lam 4:3-4)

Another beautiful picture the Bible gives us of the breast is Jesus’ own breast, when His beloved disciple, John, was reclining there. It’s even mentioned twice by John! Once before Jesus’ death, once after His resurrection:

There was reclining on Jesus’ breast one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved. (John 13:23)

Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them; the one who also had leaned back on His breast at the supper . . . (John 21:20)

Again, I don’t want to offend, but I do want to expose Ezzo’s teaching that binds parent’s consciences regarding the freedom in the Lord that they have to breastfeed how they want/need and to offer comfort from the breast to their babies (Colossians 2:23 may even apply here, rules with an “appearance of wisdom” . . . but lack any true spiritual value).

Ezzo seems even to teach us to have opposite feelings for and evaluations of our children’s desire to breastfeed than what God says. God is showing breastfeeding as a natural descriptive of childhood, a time of special protection and gentleness and care. We need to ask ourselves if Ezzo is really teaching us God’s heart towards our babies.

(*More to come: next topic is the confusion of the baby’s sin nature with the nature of the baby.)

my favorite bedtime

Tonight we had my favorite type of bedtime for the girls. Vitaliy and I laid in the bed with Skyla and Vika, and we talked about a few things the girls wanted, we said “I love you” to each other, and then Vitaliy and I lay there talking to each other while the girls fell asleep. Then V and I got up and resumed our evening.

Usually it’s just me putting the girls to sleep that way. The bedtime hug and “Mommy, I love you,” from a satiated-with-love child is worth a million bucks priceless.

I think it is William Sears who points out 5 times in a day that are most valuable to a child: breakfast, coming home after school, dinnertime, something else, and bedtime. I try to pick one or two of those special times a day to deposit love into my babies. We all love it.

my first midwifery studies submission

me today

I’m studying midwifery with Ancient Art Midwifery Institute, and the course is divided into 6 sections that contain all kinds of assignments. In this notebook, I’m turning in all of Section 1, which is mostly about medical terms, definitions, word parts, abbreviations, etc. Also, Section 2 is a lot of overview and looking into the various resources we have for learning. I’m turning in two assignments connected with watching videos and listening to conference speakers–this was one of the most interesting things I’ve done!

It’s been hundreds of hours of work!

One thing that’s beginning to clarify for me is the importance of my Section 5 file system. It’s the place I can store and retrieve all the info I’m learning. It’s a major project, but I’m glad I have the files ready now, and I’m getting quite a pile of notes (from book reading) I need to file away.

This coming quarter, I’m going to continue and hopefully finish the rest of Section 2 work.

I occasionally and regularly (usually after I finish an assignment) take time to re-read some inspiring letters from Carla and to look all through the curriculum again so I can keep getting the big picture, staying in perspective, and keep focused.

I desperately need a housekeeper! Come with a shovel

booklet

"Where's the exit?"

This booklet is for women thinking about abortion. I’ve stapled Olya’s business card on there, and I’m giving a stack of them to the head doctor of our women’s prenatal clinic.

I go to this clinic 2ce a month to do a one-hour lecture for expecting women about newborn care and life with small children.  So I’ve gotten to know this doctor a little. He attended church for a while, and he’s told me that he’s stopped writing abortion papers for women asking for them.

So I wanted to put these booklets with Olya’s phone number for consultation there. And he wants to give them out to women who are thinking of aborting.

Pray for opportunities to witness and reach families and women through this.

pro-life luncheon for pastors’ wives

The Eastern European director for Life International lives in Kiev, and we are friends. She used to be apartment mates with my co-worker Olya. Yesterday, she hosted a luncheon for pastors’ wives in Kiev, to present the need for pro-life ministries here in Ukraine.

A lady who worked in the pro-life ministry for years in America and Belarus spoke to us, and she was excellent. She reminded us to remember this tragedy–if abortions were done out on the street and we saw the dead babies, we would be ready to go to war–but because it happens silently behind closed doors, it’s so easy to forget about. Especially in former-soviet countries . . . it’s just such an expected but taboo-to-talk about thing here.

She challenged us to, at the very least, pray, pray, pray. I was encouraged to renew my prayers.

Olya shared about what we are doing here in Kiev and a lady from our post-abortion Bible studies gave her testimony. It was a special day. We were all invited to attend a 2-day training in May for those interested in starting a pro-life ministry. Perhaps the Lord will use this to get a crisis pregnancy center going here!

Tomorrow, I will be giving our head dr at the prenatal clinic booklets for him to give to women who ask him for abortions (he’s the head OB/GYN and he doesn’t write prescriptions for abortions any more) with Olya’s business card attached (that Vitaliy made for her ). Pray for fruit from these!