Two things came together for me a few weeks back. I read in a midwifery textbook that the most important preparation a woman can do for birth is her emotional/psychological prep. That just stuck with me (because I tend to be so geared toward mechanical/technical/academic knowledge). And then one night I was dinking around with some online Bible studies, and I came across Psalm 91. And I thought, why don’t I use this psalm as my birth prep? So I started meditating/writing.
I want to share some thoughts from verse 1.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
These two lines seem to say the same thing: dwell in His shelter = abide in His shadow. And whose? The Most High, the Almighty.
Before, I always think about me in regard to these verses and ponder how to dwell, how to abide. But this time, I was drawn to the names of God used here.
And I was impressed that, from this verse, I see that these names/qualities of God are my comfort, they are what I run to and hide myself in.
The Most High–This is the One who is over all, all the universe, all bodily processes, all people, all authorities–all of life. He gives life, and really, He never “takes it away,” He just moves it from one place to another, from earth to Home, or from earth to eternal punishment.
So I needn’t fear death. God gives life and death is His moving a person–His own creation–to live in another realm.
Lord, all the lives dear to me–You are over them all and I trust You with them all.
Every movement of my body during birth, every movement of our baby, of his/her heartbeat, You are over it all. Every thought You want to prepare for us, for Vitaliy, You are over all, the Most High.
Almighty–God has all power to do as He pleases. And I am comforted by dwelling/abiding in Your shelter. I do not need to fear Your power over me. Your power and You are my comfort, my peace, my refuge and trust.
I am so happy I can commit this birth to You. And not only the birth! But every single thing in my life. You are over all, the Most High, and You have, of course, all power! And these two truths are my source of comfort, safety, and joy. Thank you. No matter what comes, in childbirth, in all of my life–my death, our child being deformed, Vitaliy’s death, my children’s death–these truths of your Being are my refuge. You rule all, with all power.