It was getting a little confusing lately with my lovely, newly 6yo. There were times of defiance that really left me wondering if my parenting was benficial or not, did I need to become stricter and more authoritative? . . . .
So I finally pull off my shelf the thin book about 6 year olds that my friend Tulipgirl sent me years ago. Even the title comforted me: Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant. And the first few pages delve right in to the turmoil a 6yo experiences as s/he is trying to love mommy but separate from her at yet another level of development.
Six is beginning to separate from his mother. In fact, it is this quite natural move toward more independence and less of the closeness experienced at Five that makes him so aggressive toward her at times. . . . It is fair to say that Six is typically embroiled with his mother. He depends on her so much, and yet part of him wishes he didn’t. (p.4)
So now I have more understanding for the “nature of the child” for my child at Six. And I can parent in more wisdom and understanding.
I want to add, too, how thankful I am for God’s forgiveness and my kids’ forgiveness and resilience. I am such an imperfect mother, but God does take up for us and help us.