When my 2 girls were really young, I went through this time when I really wanted a nice house here.
I mean, I wanted this really badly. I would even say sinfully badly.
Because i was very discontent and angry that God didn’t give me this desired house.
I have recently been pondering several of the major ways God has been growing-me-up the last few years, and that unfulfilled desire was a teaching tool that He used to show me my ugly heart and earth-centered priorities.
Wanting a house is not bad. Wanting it more than God’s kingdom and will is.
. . . Guilty.
It took me a while to see it in such stark terms.
God eventually gave us a house. It is not beautiful. It is not big. It will never be clean. It will probably never have a smoothly-working water flow. Nor will it ever be the “house of my dreams.”
Amazing how He does that.
How He remakes what looks ugly, so you realize it’s beauty.
Because He is there. And He is saving retched, broken lives, ugly people. Making them into His beautiful children. Using this ugly place to be a home for the homeless, a temporary, earthly home for them to find the True Home.
So it’s OK.
It’s way more than OK.
It’s crying, humbled happiness that walks on holy ground in the ugly beauty.
And I’m putting up this little Ebeneezer post so that I won’t forget the little, proud, selfish person I was, and would be without His discipling, teaching hand.
Thank you, God. My cup overflows.